By Monica Ng
Thank you, Spotify!
Spotify is great at shuffling mystery songs into my playlist whenever I’m listening to music. The same thing happened when I got hooked on Canadian musician Kane Miller’s music. I was listening passively at work when The Grace by Neverending White Lights (“NWL”) caught my attention. I had to immediately maximize my Spotify page to find out what song it was. And after hours of listening to NWL’s music and sharing it on my socials… here we are!
The Grace – single (2015)
Falling Apart – single (2011)
Always – single (2007)
Act I: Goodbye Friends of the Heavenly Bodies – album (2005)
Act II: The Blood and the Life Eternal – album (2007)
Act III: Love Will Ruin – album (2011)
From Windsor, Ontario, Daniel Victor is the genius behind Neverending White Lights. Daniel is a songwriter, multi-instrumentalist and producer who continues to push boundaries with his music, while helping to breakdown the stigma associated with mental health issues – especially for musicians who are struggling with them.
Me: Daniel! I absolutely love your music and what you are about. You’re a true gem. Honestly, I get so excited when a song touches my soul. Whenever I’m hit with such a song, I immediately look up the artist on socials and Spotify and buy my favourite songs on iTunes. Because I have such high standards for my music, I secretly hope that the musician has more than one song that I like. You did not disappoint me. I’ve added so many of your songs to my collection and have been listening to your music every day since I discovered you. What inspires your music?
Daniel: Thanks Monica! That means a lot.
What inspires my music? My journey in discovering life’s meaning and purpose, and the emotions behind what it means to be human and feeling things at your core. While I am often inspired by bands, albums, films, books, and other art, I am led to create music from a deep internal guidance. I guess you could say it’s about soul searching.
Neverending White Lights is a journal of my personal inquires around life itself, what existence is and isn’t, and peering into other realms of the spirit. I was always fascinated with the truth behind existence. In my youth it felt lonely to look up at the night sky and wonder how things could be so vast, yet so few of us are paying any mind to it. It seemed like people were distracted from uncovering their true nature.
I’ve always experienced this constant longing. For what, I’m not sure. But it drives me to write music. Maybe for a home somewhere, or for some place in the universe. To find something deeper behind why we do anything. I’ve tried to cope with these feelings the best way I could over the years and recording music helps to ease the agitation.
I am also inspired by melancholy and emotion itself. Beautiful tragedy, sad endings, loss, heartbreak, and grief. I like tapping into the essence of yearning, sadness, and hope. I love when things make your spine tingle, or when the goosebumps happen. I try to use that as a measure when I write.
Me: You’re so articulate. I often wonder the same thing – how there’s so much out there, but it seems like no one is noticing it. For example, I can go on and on about the colours of the sky at sunrise and sunset, the beauty of how light touches the earth, etc., but people usually just stare at me blankly and change the topic lol. There’s a sense of harmony and peace when you can connect with nature as well as the vibrations and energy all around.
Your single and album covers remind me of dark and sultry vampire movies. Also, the way you named your albums as Act I, II, and III, is like a playwright – something theatrical with a dramatic flair. In my opinion, your song Theme from Love Will Ruin is the perfect example of an intense theatrical piece. I was reading your comments that your albums can be read like a story. Can you briefly describe the concept that you had in mind when creating your albums and what you are trying to achieve with your music?
Daniel: NWL is based a series of concept albums. Every album is focused on a theme and story. Act I was about losing faith in life and our cosmic connection to beings and angels. Act II played around with musings about eternal life and love on the other side of the veil. Act III was more down to Earth both in sound and lyrics. It was conceived as a tragic love album focusing around heartbreak, loss, divorce, and how pain is often inevitable with love. The idea that we have to trade potentially devastating heartbreak to understand and receive love makes us venerable, which is why the album cover has a woman’s neck exposed – a fragile offering.
My goal with each album is to create a mood. The atmosphere and instrumentation help translate the lyrical content, in a similar way the cinematography of a movie creates its vibe. How can I make a snare sound sadder, or a choir dreamier? Guest singers bring unique characteristics to the music much in the way actors do for a script.
Each album will unravel as sequence of acts, eventually amassing to one giant work with overarching themes between them. Act I, II, and III have begun the initial trilogy. The journey will continue with Acts IV and V.
Me: So true, like the saying goes “Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” I’m looking forward to the next Acts. What does pandemic life look like for you with respect to the music scene and how is the music scene generally?
Daniel: My city has been on lockdown for two years now, and still is as of this interview.
I have personally spent much of that time focusing on my own self-healing. I’ve taken a few online classes as well, including mixology, Earth ascension (consciousness expansion), and learning the Tarot. I wrote a series of books and created two blogs. I also directed two music videos for an up-and-coming artist named MELØ – my first venture into that realm. I’ve also been working weekly with a spiritual coach, Georgia Jean, who is an extra-dimensional channel. The insights I have received through our work together has been life changing.
As for the music scene as a whole, this time on lockdown has given people a chance to regroup and recalibrate. Artists and bands have lost their ability to tour and perform consistently and several venues have closed. The live-streaming platform has helped though. It’s thrilling to watch your favourite band perform from the comfort of your living room, and selling virtual seats means a larger audience for the performer. I caught some cozy shows from Matthew Good, Sara Slean, and Rufus Wainwright. The interaction with the artists is a fantastic way to connect. I got to chat with Rufus and asked him if he felt he had accomplished everything he set out to at his age. He loved the question and replied that he had indeed, but that he still wants to write musical theatre. That man is a genius. It seems the lockdown has given artists new energy and inspiration to get out there and create.
Recently, the pandemic in general has shifted my attention towards the mental health side of things. The fear of dying and spreading illness is a huge weight for people to carry. The separation of sides on the issues has created rifts between families and friends. I see a lot of people arguing instead of finding solutions to work together. I’ve lost several close friends just over differences of opinions on the virus, the vaccine, the masks, etc. It seemed to create this great divide for humanity.
In such a panic, we can lose our centeredness, intuition, and discernment for what’s best for ourselves and those around us. People have become afraid to interact with or be around others. I have seen many people make fun of and tear down those who have chosen to follow their inner guidance. Some are angry with the government. Some are angry at those who won’t follow the mandates. And some are just angry with the confusion. Regardless of what “side” you are on, the question becomes…what long-term effect will all this have on our mental health?
It is not healthy to obsess over fear…every day…all day…for years. While we can recognize that stress, disease, war, conflict, illness, viruses, and death all do exist, it doesn’t help any of us to worry about them 24/7. Stress chemicals in our bodies deplete the immune system and slow down our cellular function. We need to be more careful with what we feed our minds and bodies. Has the CNN or the news ever made you feel at peace? A constant barrage of fear isn’t healthy for anyone.
It is important that we stay positive and use our inner guidance to do what’s right for each of us. This means there is no one solution or truth for everything. And this means we have to accept everyone’s truth as just as valid as our own.
We all want the same things – health, happiness, and well-being for all. This won’t come until we let go of separation mentality and work together instead of righteously blaming and attacking one another. Yes, the pandemic was hard, and yes there was loss, and hardship, and many uncomfortable experiences. We need to use more love and less fear. We are all here as divine souls and we are much more than just the bodies. Compassion on all fronts.
Me: Sigh, I agree with you on all points. I’m fortunate that I haven’t been affected that much by the pandemic, but I know how much life has changed for others.
I told you that you have fantastic taste in music. When I first heard The Grace, I mentioned to you that I could hear influences of Matthew Good (one of my favourite musicians) – which could be a reason that I was instantly hooked on your music. You said that you are a big fan of his music. When I reached out to you for an interview, I sent you a link to my interview with Moist as a sample. You said you are also a huge fan of Moist and even opened for them once. Wish I was there for that show. It must have been wicked! What goes through your mind when you are performing on stage and from what age did you know that were meant to perform?
Daniel: Yes, Canadian Rock is incredible. Matthew Good is one of my favourite artists of all time. His lyrics are stunning and his songs kind of stab you in a way. They’re very potent. His catalogue is a treasure. I opened for Moist a long time ago. I still listen to their albums. Gasoline and Breathe are my favourite tracks.
I love performing. Being on stage is a much different experience than being in the studio. I love producing songs and watching them come to life, but there is another side of me that lives for the stage. It’s more raw and real. I always wanted to be a performer. I used to sing acoustic cover songs to small drunken audiences, but it wasn’t until after I released my first album that I got the true taste of how special it was to perform original songs to people who were actually listening.
The energy in an audience can become electric. It is a mass expulsion of frequency and connectedness. Everyone in the room feels the vibe no matter how big or small the show is. I love that. Most of the time I’m way too inside my head when I am on stage to fully enjoy the experience. I do love the bond between a band and the audience, it’s like extended family. Performing live allows me to dive into the core feelings in the songs, like reliving a powerful memory or experience. All old songs become new again in the moment and I get taken to the initial emotional spark.
Me: I listen to Moist all the time. I can feel a chill when you talk about the energy while performing live. How amazing! If I can properly articulate, your songs are rich and beautifully layered with elements of darkness and sensuality. My favourites are The Grace, I Hope Your Heart Runs Empty, Dove Coloured Sky, Theme from the Blood and the Life Eternal, The Warning, Distance, From What I Once Was and Falling Apart, Last of the Great Lovers, A Littlepiece…but actually, I love ALL of your songs. You mentioned that The Grace was a “big part of your life”. What was the inspiration for that song and what is its significance to you?
Daniel: Thank you so much. I love the idea of darkness and sensuality. The Grace was a big part of my life, and it launched my career. It connected with a lot of people, and I realized that I wasn’t alone in my own little world anymore. And that melancholy had a new place on the radio, which was a big deal for me then for some reason. I had this issue to prove when I was 26 about mainstream radio and video playing cookie-cutter and commercial songs that lacked depth. Everything seemed so schlocky and corporate. I thought, where did all the music with meaning go?
I eventually learned that ALL music has its place that it doesn’t have to just be about emotional longing or dramatic ballads. I learned to like Nickelback. Well, almost. But the point is it’s all about not resisting what’s out there and just letting things be. What’s meant to find its path, will. There’s room for everyone.
I wrote The Grace in a quick burst. I was on a phone call with a friend, and I had this inkling that something was coming on, an inspiration. I hung up the phone, picked up my guitar and it came out. When these songs appear, it’s never about trying to force something, but instead more allowing the idea to come through without getting in the way.
The lyrics were inspired by feeling displaced and having suicidal thoughts, but not in the desperation of pain, more in the uncomfortableness of having to live a life without understanding why. It was about it being all right to not be all right with it. And maybe not even belonging here. And that it was perfectly acceptable to think these things. The chorus is a long-distance call for home, wholeness, and completeness, in whatever realm that is. It’s a conversation between a man and his angels looking for his peace on either side of the veil.
I knew Dallas Green would be the perfect fit for that song because his voice has passion, and his style is brilliant. We had already recorded together, and I called him back to “try one more idea”. And that was it. I’m grateful it was able to reach so many people. In the end, it’s not really my song. It’s a collaboration with the angels and the higher realms. Like, where does anything we create really come from? I believe we are channels. I’m just trying to get it down on paper.
Me: I feel the same about commercial radio play. I don’t necessarily do it on purpose, but most of the music I listen to is Canadian. I’m so proud to be Canadian with such musical talent and totally support them. I dream of having my own trendy vegan café where I only play Canadian music. We need to hear more indie Canadian music on Canadian airwaves.
I sent you a DM about how your music has touched my soul. I’ve always been a spiritual person, but I was in the midst of what I felt like a massive spiritual awakening when I came across your music. Your music has supported the array of emotions that I’ve been experiencing, including happiness, joy, feeling alive, longing, emptiness and sadness. I told you that I felt like I was floating because I was so happy, and you said that you could feel my energy (through my social media posts).
When I think of “neverending white lights”, images of fantasy, afterlife and eternity conjure up in my mind. How did you decide on the name?
Daniel: The name Neverending White Lights is a metaphor for the soul.
We are all made of light. When we die that light moves on into new form, while we leave our bodies behind. The name came about as I was writing Act I. I had a vision of these dark endless tunnels or pathways with bright white lights on each side that kept going through a heavenly plane. Almost like a portal or vortex. The words “Neverending White Lights” started to appear.
I believe the name was placed there by my higher self for me to remember who I am, beyond the skin and bones and programming. That I have a history off-planet, cosmically. That I came here from the stars to remember. And to help others remember their own light. To be a light. To help people uncover their own light and discover that we are all infinite.
Me: I love it, Daniel. I like the notion of light. I believe that we all have a flame inside ourselves – be it weak or strong. Sometimes we just need a spark to set it off and there is no turning back after the fire has started. There is so much to discover about ourselves and the Earth we live on. Concepts of lost souls, soulmates/twin flames, reincarnation, afterlife are everywhere.
On your Spotify write-up, you mention the collaboration work that you do with other musicians. From what I gather, you play all the instruments and have another musician sing. It’s funny because I got two comments from friends that they didn’t like the voice (I like it) in I Hope Your Heart Runs Empty. How do you decide which artist should sing a particular song and what made you decide to personally sing Always? Also, tell us more about the creative endeavour of collaborations and why you like it?
Daniel: Scott Anderson’s (Finger Eleven) voice in I Hope Your Heart Runs Empty is transcendently stark and gripping. Of course, not everyone will like everything. I’ve had plenty of comments over the years of voices that “work” or don’t. But I have to use my own intuition to decide what’s best for a song.
Finding the right voice for a track is like casting for a movie – every performer will give it a different feeling. I do sing a few on my own when I feel more connected to the song. Always was the first single from Act II and it felt like it needed to be my voice. It’s just a feeling of what the song is asking for. It’s not about vocal ability with anyone I work with, myself included, it’s just what the song wants to be. The lyrics to Always were very personal to me and it was a story I wanted to tell through my own voice.
Collaborating with other artists is stimulating, especially working with my favourites. I am a huge fan of all of them and it was a dream come true to write and produce songs with bands I grew up listening to. It gave me the ability to see inside my record collection and break the fourth wall. And it also provided a massive challenge to make this seed of an idea happen in real life – from my notebook to the world. It was a personal feat I was driven to achieve.
Part of the concept was to take singers out of their comfort zone and place them in something foreign. It made the artists vulnerable and pushed me to help make them feel confident in stretching their wings.
I really wanted Scott from Finger Eleven to tap into his more sensitive side away from the aggressiveness of his group. Writing music that would give artists room to feel around for new ways of performing was part of the beauty. When 311’s Nick Hexum decided to work on Age of Consent, it opened him up to his softer, more buttery vocal style. I encouraged him to tap into the contemplative melancholy he rarely used in the rock-reggae of his band. He told me it inspired him to record another 80’s cover called Lovesong by The Cure which became a huge radio hit for them shortly after.
Funny thing, as Lovesong was featured in the movie 50 First Dates. Adam Sandler originally wanted Hexum singing Age of Consent, but the music supervisor thought it was too mellow. Lovesong was the replacement.
Me: Lovesong is one of my favourite songs. It super old, but I just listened to it recently when I suddenly found myself signing it in my head. It’s amazing that you can hand pick artists for each song and find energy in collaboration. I’m not musically talented, so I am thoroughly impressed that you can play many instruments. What instruments DO you play and when did you pick up your first one?
Daniel: I play guitar, drums, piano, bass, percussion, and vocals. I started out on drums when I was 7. My father had a vintage Ludwig set I would bang on for hours. I still love drums the best – they’re hands down the most fun to record. I was the drummer in several bands for many years before starting NWL.
I studied classical piano for a few years, but it never stuck, so I learned on my own. I couldn’t handle all the strict rules and scales, it took the enjoyment out of getting lost in the music. I studied with nuns at the local conservatory, and it was the most un-fun thing I can remember musically as a kid. They would be grading every subtle technique and punish any mistakes. It made me dread playing. Thankfully, I was able to do it my own way, which is more by ear. I can’t read much but I can feel my way through.
My father taught me how to play guitar when I was 13. I had the fuzzed-out noise of the Grunge/Alternative rock scene of the early 90s to jam along to. Smashing Pumpkins was a considerable influence on my guitar playing and tone. Billy Corgan’s clean sound on Siamese Dream was so gorgeous. I would listen to the song Soma on repeat for hours. That album is definitely still on my top five of all time.
Me: That’s awesome that you can play so many instruments. I feel you about piano lessons. I was forced to learn piano as a kid. I hated every second of it probably because I had to play classical music. I am proud to say that I learned one song that I love – Dust in the Wind by Kansas. I can still play it today. In your interview with Margaret Konopacki of Birdsong: David Martin New Music Foundation, you said “I think many people forget how rare it is to be here, and that it won’t last forever…once we are gone, we are gone.” Your thoughts resonate with me a lot and it’s something that I think about every day. With this in mind, what focus does this philosophy give you in life?
Daniel: I believe when we’re gone from this life, the specifics of that life experience have come and gone. What we’ve learned we carry with us in our soul’s records, imprinted in the universe.
We’re only this version of ourselves once, even though we’ve incarnated hundreds of times. Everything we learn in every moment changes and shapes us. We only have this one life to be the person we are under these exact circumstances. In the next life, that will change, though it will still be us on a soul level, just a new avatar. All that was learned is gained for the soul’s journey and the greatest good of all. Every incarnation we get to have a new experience. In one life we’re rich, then in another we get to learn what it’s like to be poor. In one we are a dictator, in another a slave.
My views on these topics are always in flux as I’m always learning, so none of this might be true for me tomorrow. But it is currently the stage of my awareness.
Being on Earth at this time is challenging because we are born into the experience of separation from our Source, and from each other. The veil of amnesia we pass through at birth leaves us with little memory of our past lives, let alone our multidimensional star ancestry. We have to stumble in the dark to find our way and come up with meanings that are convincing enough for us to keep going. That can be religion, science, drugs, alcohol, sex, love, family, work, music, money, or even just survival. Most of us don’t sit in caves and mediate for answers all day and we have plenty of distractions out there. Why were we born into a place and time where we know nothing about our origin or truth? Why do we keep doing the same things every day without taking the time to find the answers?
I believe we all have a purpose for coming into this world. It’s a path of remembering who we are. Humans are more than just a physical vessel, made to wake up, go to work, retire, and die. The universe is not random and chaotic, and there are clues in our reality about how synchronistic and connected the world is. I believe we all have special powers that were kept from us – that we are all magical and psychic.
We are not victims to life, but co-creators generating our reality. Yes, life is hard, but what we focus on with intent, what we believe in, we get to experience. Everything is malleable. It’s not easy to change our thinking patterns and habits, but it is possible to awaken to our truth and break out of limiting beliefs. This is the great awakening happening right this minute on Earth. We are seeing humans start to shift towards the importance of being authentic and doing what makes them happy. We are seeing people breaking free from fear, oppression, rules, and order, and tapping more into their hearts. The best way to harness our cosmic divinity on Earth right now is to explore our creativity. When we create things, we are expressing alignment with our soul.
Me: That’s incredibly deep…and you mirror my own less articulate words! My sense of awakening is so intense at times. To really be able to see and feel, is so incredible and a gift.
In the same article, you openly admitted your battle with mental health issues including depression, obsessive compulsive disorder and anxiety. In my opinion, musicians are geniuses and may have their brains wired a certain way which allows for that type of creativity. For myself personally, when I’m experiencing feelings of depression or extreme happiness, my written work is more inspired and creative.
It’s so inspirational that you are trying to help other musicians (and others) struggling with mental health issues to understand that what they are going through is normal and not shameful. In my interview with musicians, Ben VanBuskirk of Blackout Orchestra, Andrew Ford of Inner Pieces and AARYS, they talk openly about their personal struggles with mental health issues and advocate for the importance of understanding and dealing with the impact of mental health as a collective society. It’s very inspirational when musicians channel their inner battles through music that heals their souls and well as those of others.
I read that you were struggling the most with your mental health issues during the recording of Act III: Love Will Ruin. Can you elaborate on this as well as your thoughts about the stigma of mental illnesses/conditions and how are you managing your own struggles day-to-day?
Daniel: Yes, it has been said many times that artistic ability is usually linked with mental illness, but we all struggle with it. We all are suffering in some way. It’s just part of the wiring of the brain.
Feeling depressed and unhappy can sometimes seem like normal life, but it’s not supposed to be. We often have a subconscious feeling of detachment and abandonment. It’s like a background noise. We label it “depression” or “anxiety” because we need to medically define it, but it’s all just misalignment with our higher self, waiting to be corrected. You’d be anxious too if you were dropped off on Earth with no map. Plot twist – the map as it turns out is inside us and the key to the treasures are within our hearts.
It’s important we openly discuss our mental health and be willing to share our true feelings and experiences. Most unwellness and disease is linked to emotional trauma, which is linked to what we think about, speak of, and focus on. This is often attached to unwanted experiences we’ve had as children. But there is a way through. To live happy and healthy lives we must start opening ourselves up to a new paradigm of healing.
Once we come to recognize our symptoms (anxiety, nervousness, restlessness, chronic fatigue, etc.) taking prescription drugs and living with it, will only mask the true inner cause. We need to learn how manage our thoughts and face the shadow parts of us that we might be neglecting. We need to love and accept every aspect of who we are.
When we are in worry or fear about anything, we create anxiety. We worry about the future, but the future doesn’t exist, as is just a sea of potential outcomes based on decisions and actions we take in the present. The NOW moment is all there is. This is where our focus needs to be. Not the past or future, as that is where anxiety creeps in.
I’ve been working hard for years to get better with my symptoms. I’m doing well now, though it has been difficult. I am grateful I have found new methods and I am eager to share them with those who are looking for new ways to feel better. I believe we all suffer in different ways. If I can be of assistance to anyone for inspiration, guidance or music, that is what I am on Earth to do.
Me: Well put. I like the plot twist…the key to the treasure is within us. Breaking the stigma and opening the dialogue is so important as a first step. So many people are suffering on their own, thinking that they are alone – when they aren’t. It’s just that no one else is talking.
I’m really looking forward to new music from you. What are your current/future plans with your music?
Daniel: It’s been over a decade since I have last released new music. I’ve taken a slight detour. I just fell off the track, I guess. I think my soul was trying to guide me away from my career so I could fix what needed to be fixed inside.
But I’ve written nearly 100 songs that are in varying stages of completion. Most of them will never see the light of day, but there are a few gems that I am very excited to share. There is a dreamy sentiment to the new music, kind of like a lost memory. The themes so far have to do with the awakening on Earth and our moving out of darkness, though I don’t have a title yet.
I am hoping something surfaces this year, maybe a new song. I know I will finish Act IV at some point. I’ve recently started sitting with the material again. Listening. Thinking. Feeling for that knowingness to sink in. I’m waiting for the spark of inspiration to tell me its time. Until then…
Me: Daniel, thanks so much for agreeing to this interview and your time. I appreciate your insight into the spiritual world. There is so much in this interview for us to think about and digest about us being more than vessels moving through this lifetime. I’m so thankful to Spotify for giving me the gift of your music and to you for creating your transcending masterpieces. Before we wrap up this interview, is there anything else that you would like to share?
Everyone, check out NWL and don’t forget to follow Daniel’s page. Now. And remember to show your support by buying/streaming music, attending his shows, buying merch, etc.
Daniel: My pleasure. Thank you for thinking of me and taking the time to reach out. Much love. xx