This post is dedicated to those searching for love.
Lately, I have been getting a lot of friend requests on Facebook. I am fine to accept such requests, because I am naturally curious about others around me and the world. But lately I have been seeing a trend.
Treating Facebook (and other social media) as an online dating site.
I totally understand that it is hard to find someone to form a meaningful relationship with. You might feel alone and don’t know where to start. It is definitely convenient just to start a chat from your phone.
I really like to help people, so I write this post based on my own observations.
Finding someone special may be especially difficult when you have finished school and there are no interesting contenders in your workplace. You might have to rely on friends, family, social or hobby clubs, work-related events to network and meet new people.
I did most of my “searching” in University. Dated many people. Went on dates, blind dates with people I met online (yikes!), even tried set-ups (yikes!). It may seem like a waste of time, but I believe it is necessary to learn about yourself through the experience.
I am definitely not a dating expert, but I do have a few comments that might help refine your approach or narrow out the people that are NOT suitable for you.
- Use your common sense. Know who you are dealing with. It may seem obvious, but take a quick look at someone’s posts. If the post contains photos of a man and woman holding hands/hugging or children, and content contains references to a husband/hubby – just stay away.
- Can’t force friendship. Whether you are looking for a platonic friendship or a love relationship, you cannot demand it from someone. Resist asking someone if they will be a very good friend. I would expect that most people would find this too aggressive and unappealing (turn-off). If it is meant to be, friendship will come by itself.
- Refrain from asking for a phone number. This is a bit creepy coming from someone you don’t know at all. So I believe social media etiquette is not to do so.
- Be yourself. Even if you are just typing online, you can get a sense of who you are chatting with.
- Glance at the “where you live” part of people’s profile. If you are really looking for someone to have a meaningful relationship with, it would be good to at least start in the same country. Honestly, it is not practical to begin your search across the world.
Online dating services
I have many friends who met their significant others through an online dating service. You might be wary and think it is not traditional, but at least you can put yourself out there and try to find someone similar to you (i.e. shares the same love for hiking, watching movies; has the same life philosophy, etc.). Sometimes you have to think outside the box. In my opinion this is way better than copying and pasting information about yourself through a FB chat. Also, I have many friends who found love late in life, so don’t give up!
In this thing called life, don’t lose faith. Just keep your heart open to a relationship and hopefully one will find you. Be yourself always.